Why do women have so many decorative throw pillows on the bed?
I mean seriously, what the heck?
Picture a man, walking down the hall to go to bed. He walks into the bedroom and is shocked – what happened to my bed?
Little did he know that when he found love, he also found an interior decorator.
He did remember buying the new bed, or rather when SHE bought the bed. He came along to the furniture store alright, but he never had a chance at any decisions after that. Once the bed was chosen, he said “Cool, let’s go,”
“Oh no, babe,” she continued “we have to get the rest of it,”
“The rest of it?”
“Yea, I got this. Just go over to the TV section to watch sports or whatever and we’ll be done in a minute,” and she pointed to the wall of TVs.
He realized that while she shooed him away to watch Sports Center in a comfy recliner (that 20 salespersons try to sell him), she bought ‘the rest of it’.
Meanwhile, back to the bedroom with the shocked man.
He started to take a good look at the new bed and it looked like his Mom had dressed up his sister to go to church. It was very colorful and had a skirt.
Why does a bed need a skirt?
And then he saw it – the mountain of pillows – Mount “Pilloovius”.
There was a whole family of pillows;
Very tall pillows (The basketball player pillows, I guess),
Girthy pillows (They just need to work out a bit),
Pillows that spell out messages (I guess they go to the pillow basketball games and cheer on the tall ones),
Smooshy pillows (The Terminator 2 pillow going through a transformation),
Shiny ones with tassels (Stripper pillows, I guess), and
lots of nondescript understudy pillows (decorative throw pillows) for any of the main ones if they get sick or get caught in a TMZ scandal.
Some reasons women may have so many decorative throw pillows on the bed;
Can we use them to hide from zombies, ghosts, and unannounced parental visits?
Do they want to play the “Turn the TV on a channel that speaks a different language, then hide the remote in one of the pillows” game?
Does she want to play “Russian Roulette” pillow fight with the remote still hidden in one of the pillows? I, for one, am against this.
Does she want to recreate Stonehenge, the Eiffel Tower or Disneyland on the bed? Instead of Sand Castles, we would build Pillow Castles.
Can we use them as money during the Zombie Apocalypse?
Do women have so many pillows because they want to play “Hide and Go to Sleep”? That is one of my favorite games, btw.
Will those particular pillows go up in value like collector Elvis plates?
After he thought about that for a while, he was faced with a diabolical dilemma;
1. He was very, very tired now,
2. What should he do with all the pillows on the bed when he crawls into bed?
It was like a booby trap in an Indiana Jones movie.
The man tries to gather memories of times he got in trouble in the past to solve this quandary.
After pondering all the options, googling, Periscoping and asking on Facebook – the man does what he feels is the only thing that will not get him in trouble…
he sleeps on the floor.
Men, leave comments as to your “Pillows on the Bed” experiences.
Ladies, how many pillows are there on your bed? Why are there that many?
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