We look into the immortal question; Why Won’t Men Put Dirty Socks in the Hamper? To a woman, it’s a very simple solution to the issue of dirty socks being dropped on the floor – they need to go to their “home” in the hamper. Simple, easy, succinct – to a woman, but to a man, it’s much more difficult to resolve.
After a long day of putting up with idiots at work, then dealing with idiots on the road, the man just wants to kick off his socks on the floor, then face what awaits him at home. It’s odd how we study the rituals of other people types and animals and accept that’s just how they live, but the dirty socks on the floor isn’t an accepted part of the ritual of a man’s arrival at home.
The women have quite a bit of trouble with that ritual. We will know reveal the reasons we have discovered to on of the mysteries of men.
The Mysteries of Men; Why Won’t Men Put Dirty Socks in the Hamper?
Here are actual male responses to the female confronting him about this mystery of men.
Reasons of Why Men Won’t Put Dirty Socks in the Hamper
1. “The hamper is too far for the man to toss them in.”
2. “The smell might keep the burglars, ghosts, zombies, door-to-door salespeople away. See, the socks are now the first line of defense. Safety first, honey. Safety First.”
3. “The socks really enjoy the view from where they landed. You wouldn’t want to hurt the socks feelings, would you? Well, would you?”
4. “The dirty socks are actually a freeform art piece now, like a post-modern Cruise Ship Towel Animal. The woman keeps wanting to add more art in our home, well – you’re welcome! :)”
5. “I’m protecting my back by not picking up those socks. You only get one spine – you need to take care of it.”
6. “Time is precious, right? See, I’m saving the world as I play The Last of Us on PS4. So, you have a choice; Me saving the world from the Zombie Apocolypse vs. Put dirty socks in the hamper. I mean, the choice is clear, right? Save the world – right?”
7. “Socks shouldn’t be confined to a hamper. It’s cruel. Haven’t you seen those “sad dog stuck in cages” commercials? Same thing.”
8. “The dog likes the socks where they are. Yeah, the dog told me so. I – I speak dog. Oh, he also said that you should be nicer to me. I’m serious, he did.”
9. “Well, if you don’t know why the socks are on the floor, I guess you don’t know me that well, then. (Guys, let me know if this reverse psychology trick ever works)”
10. “You know, this really isn’t about socks, is it?” (Again guys, let me know if this works, too)
Well, ladies, I hope we all learned something here. We went through a lot to bring you the reasons that men won’t put their dirty socks in the hamper. How do you deal with this in your home?