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RoneyZone Media proudly presents the Men are Dumb Podcast
Show notes can be found at menaredumb.org/005
And now, here is your host…
Hello. I’m Jeff.
We’re all about love in this episode. First off, we love you – listener.
We have a dumb guy story about a guy trying to show his wife how much he loves her
on Valentine’s Day and it doesn’t quite work out as he planned. Just wait,
We reveal an important discovery on this day in Dumb Guy History, and
we continue our Dumb Guy School with a great lesson from Emily Prokop, host of The Story Behind Podcast
Dumb Guy Story
Do you Fondue?
I actually remembered that Valentine’s Day was coming up. Shocking, right? I wanted
to do something really special for my wife after the catastrophe I caused on
I kept seeing these Facebook ads for a new restaurant in town – CooKoo Fondue, the
ads kept popping up all the time.
It was like they were stalking me.
Every 5 minutes it would say,
Hey buddy, how much do you really love your wife? Show her how much with Cookoo
Fondue. It’ll make her heart melt, just like our cheeses.
Dude, The clock is ticking – Not like the release date of that video game you
can’t wait to play – it’s like being a winner of Fortnite – forvever – with your
Hey man, you still haven’t made a reservation at Cookoo Fondue yet.
What’s the problem? Remember what you did on Christmas?
How in the world did facebook find out about what I did to the kitchen on
Christmas. Facebook is a straight up creepy stalker. So, I finally made a
reservation and hoped that the ads would stop.
On Valentine’s Day, we were all dressed up and I was driving over to the fondue
restaurant and I decided to make the night all about her. So, I turned on her
favorite radio station…
That sad animal commercial song came on. You know the one I mean. That Sarah
McLachlan song, Angel, “In the arms of the angel, Fly away from here…”
I started thinking about all those sad animals in cages or worse and I started to get
“Honey, are you okay?” my wife asked,
“Yes, why do you ask,” I replied,
“Are you crying?”
I had to think of something to say and all I came up with was, “I just love you so
“Ok, ok. You cried more during the intro of The Last of Us, so I feel very
I pulled myself together and we walked into the restaurant,
“Welcome to CooKoo Fondue, Happy Valentine’s Day you two,”
“Thanks,” I replied, “Could we be seated, I’m a little hungry,”
“Oh sure,” the host replied, “Oh, one question, did you make a reservation because
of our Facebook ads?”
“Yes, they were relentless, actually,”
“We knew they would work. How long did it take to repair the kitchen?”
I was getting annoyed by this time, “Not long. Look, could we be seated?”
We were finally seated and we asked for the meal to begin.
The flower sales person came by and he smiled and flourished at the basket of red
roses he was holding, “A lovely rose for the lovely lady?”
“No, that’s ok. Thanks anyway,” I replied
Feeling a little pressured, my wife interjected, “Why didn’t you by my flowers on
Valentine’s Day, honey?”
“Yeah, what’s up with that?” The flower sales person added
“I didn’t want to buy flowers that I wasn’t sure how long they’d stay fresh.
Flowers don’t have ‘fresh until’ dates, like eggs…” I responded
“Sir, these are special flowers…”
“Certainly, sir. They are watered with special water and stored in a special
solution to keep them fresh for days…”
“Oh yes, sir. Would you like a dozen – or two? I heard about the kitchen incident…”
“Sigh. Fine, sure. Yeah, give me two dozen of these special flowers.”
“Excellent, sir. That is a lovely choice for a lovely lady. Oh maam,
Did he replace your oven after – what happened at Christmas?”
“Enough about Christmas!!! Everything is fine – even the dog!”
My wife responded, “Yes, everything is fine now. Thanks,” holding the roses –
like a Beauty Contest winner
“Sir, that will be $100.”
I handed him the money and said, “Here. You’re a real jerk, ya know.”
“No sir, I’m a Special Jerk. Happy Valentine’s Day,”
They brought out the oil bucket and meat and veggies and I mentioned to the server –
“Hey uh, I think you brought the food out to early. It’s not cooked,”
“Oh sir”, the server chuckled, “You cook the meats and veggies in the oil…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa – Not only do I have to pay to come here, pay for the special
flowers, but now I have to Cook my own food here, too????”
“Yes, sir. Happy Valentine’s Day.” The server smiled and walked away.
“Honey, just put the skewers with the meat and veggies in the how oil and cook
them, then dip them in the cheese. It’ll be fun and romantic,” my wife tried
to calm me down.
I dipped them meat in the hot oil and all I kept thinking is how I should have
brought my food thermometer…
I definitey overcooked the meat and tried not to give us a foodbourne illness.
Besides, charcoal is good for the digestion.
The dessert course was my favorite – I dipped everything in chocolate – even my tie.
I was waiting for the bill – nervously and then a gentleman with a guitar and a lady
walked in front of our table, “Hello lovers. Would you like to hear a lovely song?”
“Sure, I guess” I replied, “Do you know any Van Halen?”
“Well, it’s $70 for you’re choice or $20 for our choice,” the guitar player said,
“Here’s $20,” I handed him the money, and then it happened – the song began, “In the
arms of the angel, Fly away from here…”
On this day in Dumb Guy History – the most amazing invention was invented.
the TV remote.
People say that the TV remote is just for lazy people, but that’s just not to the
People can do some much more than just change the channel or the volume…
You can do some Pilates – when you have to stretch all the way over to where someone
put it on the other end of the couch.
You can do some Yoga – when perform a Downward Dog pose to see if the TV Remote is
under the couch.
You can become richer – when you look under the couch cushions for the remote
and put the loose change you find in the piggy bank.
When the TV Remote batteries run out, you can do a Bird Box challenge to feel your
way to the junk drawer and get replacement batteries.
The TV Remote is a magical device that has made the world a better place
for Dumb Guys all over the world.
To assist with the rehabilitation of Dumb Guys everywhere, help is finally here.
There is a seat just for you in our Dumb Guy School. We will feature lessons that
will help us dumb guys be not so dumb. And now, class is now in session
(school bell sound effect).
This episode we feature Emily Prokup from
Take it away
We thank Emily from The Story Behind Podcast for our lesson today. You can find
her awesome podcast at thestorybehindpodcast.com. She also has a new book called “The Story Behind – The extraordinary history behind ordinary objects”. Check it all out on her website.
Thanks for joining us here at the Men are Dumb Show.
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Men, if you’ve been really dumb lately, remember – every day you have a chance to wake up be less dumb,
Ladies, if you’re with a dumb guy – sorry.
Written, performed, and edited by Jeff Roney
The ‘In the Arms of the Angel’ cover song was performed by Laura Aston.
Special thanks to William Lundin, Brad Pogras and Tony Ortiz