Hi, Target. My wife and I go you your wonderful store every week, so needless to say – we are fans of yours, but we need to talk.
Here is my
Open Letter to Target stores
I’m a surgical strike shopper, I normally need about 10 things each week. I know where these 10 things are, and my shopping doesn’t take that long.
Now, when my wife “shops” at your store. It takes much longer.
Much, much longer.
Probably because you give her so many choices of things;
The women’s clothing section is the size of Texas, men’s clothing is the size of 1/2 of Rhode Island.
Women’s hair care section is humongous, men’s hair care section is very tiny. (Probably because we are losing our hair, but still)
Shall we talk about the feminine product section?
I could go on, but you get the point. You give women more to look at and ponder to choose, men not so much.
Because of that, men have nothing to do.
Sure, we could wait for little Johnny to stop playing the video game demo and try it ourselves in the Electronics section, but that won’t take up all the time as my wife “shops” in the in the women’s clothing section. “Shop” isn’t even a good word for it, it’s more like browsing – with no goal in mind.
Target, men become bored long before their ladies leave your store, so that reveals a number of problems;
1. You have no proper chairs (year round) for men to sit in. Oh, I know all about these fitting room outer area “chairs”, which aren’t chairs at all.
They look like something you’d find in the land of the Mario Brothers video game. They aren’t comfortable. You can’t prop your feet up. This is a fail in regards to comfort. Sure, I could go out in front of the store and sit on the red balls and strengthen my core, but I’m here to shop, not workout.
The only time you come through for us guys, Target is in the Summer months and you bring out the outdoor furniture. This is my most favorite time of year, Target.
This makes me so happy when I see this. Even happier than when the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition comes out. Men quietly rejoice as they sit in nice, real chairs for a limited time.
B. Rotating waitresses from Hooters, Titled Kilt, Twin Peaks, etc to serve the guys. You will be turning guys away at this point. Believe me.
C. You could even set up a medical facility with hot nurses to do things like; drawing blood, healthy choices, colonoscopies, etc.
You get the idea. If you charged for all this, you could make A LOT of money.
2. Target has no Wi-Fi for guests. What the heck, it’s 2015. Get on that. We promise we won’t use the Wi-Fi for Farmville. Well, some of us.
3. The temperature in the stores. It’s never right. I like it cold, like the way theaters used to be. I hear that the temperature control for all Target stores can be found in one special location, like South Dakota or something. I will get in my car, drive over there and used a paper clip and turn the temperature down for all the Target stores. You’ll sell lots of coats and sweaters all year long. You’re welcome.
I’ll stop there. Signed a sweaty, bored husband at Target.
[…] “Honey, why did you wander off by yourself?” “You were looking for clothes, and there’s nowhere comfortable to sit in Target,” I said. “Honey, you’re on a diet and very weak, plus you’re a man. Chips […]