What are the 5 worst songs ever? I know that this can be subjective, but there are certain songs to me that are a scourge to the populace (specifically me).

I love music. It’s wonderful, but there are times that some people that put music to a recording device and release it to the public at large should have taken an extra minute or two to contact me to see if I approve. Seriously. I would save us all a lot of heartache by stopping some music that should have never seen the light of day or the capturing of the cacophonic mess on tape/CD/mp3/whatever.

The list that you are about to read is an honest, soul-bearing moment in which I share songs that break my music loving heart. Some of the songs make my angry that I couldn’t make the money that these :cough: artists :wince: did instead of working a 7:30 to 5:50 job. It is a cruel world sometimes. These artists create these awful songs that drive me crazy for years after these artists get paid oodles of money, but – I get to blog about it. That’s a plus, right?

5 Worst Songs Ever

All of My Love – Led Zeppelin

Led Zeppelin, you ever heard of them? You know, the hard rock Beatles? They brought the blues back to America in the Britsh Hard Rock Invasion. Amazing musicianship, great experimental arrangements, phenomenal vocal performances – and then they made a little album called “In Through The Out Door” in 1979. It was a turning point album – it turned down the wrong street.

“All of My Love” is the lowest of the low for Led Zeppelin. When you think of Led Zeppelin you don’t normally think of love songs, except for “Whole Lotta Love,” but that deals with a different kind of love, it’s more about, uh, – nevermind. Back to “All of My Love,” it is a keyboard heavy song. Keyboards. No offense to John Paul Jones, but Led Zeppelin lives in a house that rock guitar built, not keyboards. The song meanders and then I swear I hear a line in the song, “Mine are the hands that throws tires”. I swear I hear it ever time! Is there a blistering 5-minute guitar solo that saves this song? Nope – a keyboard solo, flamenco guitar solo, then a short electric guitar solo (Played by the said “hands that throws tires”). A keyboard that sounds like it could have been in Disneyland’s Main Street Electrical Parade. It’s awful. No, that’s a shame to things that are really awful. It’s a Whole Lotta Bad Song.

I Believe In A Thing Called Love – The Darkness

When you first hear the song, you think, “Ok, this is a rockin’ number,” but then it sounds like a bunch of angry cats in a bag. It’s just bad. Ok maybe the rock band is good, but then the singer starts singing. The only way the singer could legitimately make a living is to form a Tiny Tim rap group – a bad Tiny Tim rap group.

Grease (is the word) – Frankie Valli

I never saw “Grease” in the (live or film) theater. I was too busy being a Star Wars fan at that time. As much as I avoided the supposed “thing” that Grease was (and is), the music still invades my eardrums. I despise this song. Grease isn’t the word, to me. I’m sorry to add this song to this list, because it is associated to one of most incredible women at that time (Olivia Newton-John) wearing the most incredible pants on celluloid, but I can’t stand the song. Sorry, Olivia’s butt, but this song is on my list.

Shake it Off – Taylor Swift

Yes, I’m going there. I do have a problem with T-Swift because she kisses and tells, but yes she and her production team can craft catchy pop tunes, but then there’s “Shake it Off”. The song is fine, but then there’s that rap part – it’s so bad, worse than the ‘Green Lantern’ movie. Every time I surf around my group of radio stations I always hear this section of the song, “Hey, hey, hey Just think while you’ve been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world, You could’ve been getting down to this sick beat…” and then Taylor, the pop star – raps. Was T-Swift ever in The Wu-Tang Clan? Nope. Public Enemy? Nope. Run DMC? Nope. You get the idea. Iggy Azalea can rap in or out of a car, but (to me) not T-Swift. She should stick to kissing and telling and not rapping ever again.

Jammin’ – Bob Marley

This song scarred me for life. I was Walt Disney World with Colleen and we were staying at the All Star Music Resort and the first day we were walking to the theme park buses and I heard “We’re Jammin’, Jammin’ Jammin’ Jammin’,” and I thought it was a nice, peppy song. Day 2 I heard it again walking to the bus, “Alright, We’re Jammin’…”. As my vacation progressed, I heard “Jammin'” so much, I felt like I was being musically waterboarded by Bob Marley. Listening to “It’s a Small World” was a wonderful respite from this ruthless reggae song. I’ll bet they never play this song at any of the high price resorts inside the monorail loop at Waly Disney World. A little bit of that Disney magic to get you to upgrade, I guess. 🙂

That’s my list of 5 Worst Songs Ever. What do you think of my list?

Better yet, what’s on your list of worst songs ever? Leave your comments below.