10 Reasons I Hate Camping

Maybe hate is too strong a word. Nope, actually not.

I’m not a “camper” (Even calling my a “happy camper” is a stretch). I’m not an “outdoorsy type”. If you want to use a moniker for me, I suggest caling ma a “room dweller”, “indoor type” and that I have “solid roof envy”. Yes, I went on camping trips when I was a kid, but it didn’t stick – like algebra.

There are many reasons I hate camping, but here are 10.

See the picture above of a classic campsite? Use this as a reference for my list;

10. The Zombie horde could be coming through those trees at any moment to get me.

9. Bigfoot could actually be real and could be coming with or without the Zombie horde through those trees to get me.

8. Jason Vorhees and the other slasher movie villains wandering around. You know how expensive it is to rent anything in the city these days. Seriously, they wouldn’t anyone to run their background check, right?

7. A simple question – What are tents made of? Kevlar? Concrete? Steel? Nope – A tent to a bear is like a house made of cotton candy to The Big Bad Wolf.

6. Snakes.

5. Quick question – Are there any mattresses that are made so that when you sleep on them you feel “Just like sleeping on the ground”? Nope. Never.

4. Biting, stinging and other insects with or without Lyme disease or the Nile virus. No thanks.

3. Poison Oak, Ivy or Apples in the forest.

2. Sap. The discarded “gum” on the ground in the forest. Nature hates me and my shoes.

1. No cell service. What if a political debate on Facebook starts up, how will I participate? How?

Basically, camping is like breaking into wildlife’s “house” and staying for awhile. I’m against that – for the animal’s sake. 😉 I mean, what if animals broke into house or yard and took over…

https://youtu.be/eW2XclpN5L0

Oops

This is my idea of camping!

What do you think about camping? Love it? Hate it?

Note: This is written as faction – part fact, part fiction. Only I know which part is fact and which is fiction, so don’t worry if it’s about you or not (Family and Friends), just read and laugh.

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