Santa is a busy guy; Reindeer, elves, toys, Mrs. Claus’ nagging about picking up his dirty clothes off the floor. I want to help him and give you a list of people I would add to Santa’s Naughty List. That will be my Merry Christmas.
People I Would Add to Santa’s Naughty List
People Who Wear Headphones and Sing Out Loud, Very Badly
Part of me misses ‘American Idol‘. The part I really miss is when Simon and the other judges tell people the truth about their singing “talent” that their Mama had said was a gift from God. Truth be told, God actually threw away this person’s singing “talent,” and this person found it where God tried to hide it and now uses the ill-gotten “talent” to show people what Hell is like.
People That Declare Multiple Times On Facebook That They Are Going On A Social Media Vacation
These people act like they are the leader of the free world and the only way people can contact them would be to post a message in-between an awe-inspiring quote, a funny cat video, or an inspiring quote overlayed on a funny cat video. Bro (or Lady), If we really need to contact you, we will. I guarantee it. We will send a message to a religious person canvassing your neighborhood and they’ll drop it off, or we’ll do one of those there, “phone calls” and get ahold of you (Especially when we realize we lent you our Director’s Cut, Collector’s Edition of ‘Road House’). Don’t act like you’re Henry Hill going into the Witness Protection Program. You aren’t disappearing – you’re just not going to annoy us by posting the ‘Which (insert TV Show, Movie, Book series) Character I am’ articles for awhile. Seriously, enjoy your Social Media break. You know we will. 🙂
People that Start a Long Conversation With a Cashier, When You Are Next in Line
You stop by the store to get some Vodka, Vapor Rub and Rhubarb for a party (Don’t ask), and you just want to get going. You find a short line, and then it happens – Miss Chatty Chatterton begins. Those of use that are “lucky” enough to be behind her in line learn everything about them, their digestive system, their pets and how she thought the “Lost” TV show should have ended. To get out of the store, I invited Chatty to the party I was going to. I have fewer friends and now and in turns out, fewer parties to go to now.
Waiters that ask ‘How is your Meal,’ while you are still chewing
I know being a waiter at a restaurant is a tough job because you’ve got to put up with all kinds of jerks = and me. However, the thing that annoys me the most is on ‘Day 2 of Learning to be a Waiter,” they must cover ‘The Best Time To Ask How The Food Is,’ and it always is when the person you are serving has their mouth full. It happens EVERY SINGLE TIME. Why do you ask me something when I can’t answer you? Why? Maybe I could tap out some morse code ‘It’s okay. Please bring me some catsup in a bottle – STAT!’, but I don’t know Morse Code. I could scrawl a note on a napkin, I guess, but I don’t always carry a pen with me. Wait, I could ask my wife for a pen, but my mouth would still be full. I guess I could learn sign language to ask my wife for a pen, then write a message to the waiter about how to food is.
Going out to eat is much more stressful than I ever thought.
What do you think of my list? Are there any others you would add?
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